Goodbye 2010

Looking back on the past 8 months of my life I realize that so much has happened and I have become so much more aware of what purpose I can serve to my family and my friends.  At the beginning of 2010 if you would of asked me if I could imagine working at a different company and doing something different with my life I would of laughed and answered "No" with a certainty in my voice.  Luckily I would have been wrong.  


I always thought that "everything happens for a reason" was very cliche until I understood the meaning.  I spent endless hours dedicating my time and energy to something that in the long run would of never been worth it.  I found that people I thought I could trust would be the first ones to turn their backs when I needed them and I found myself feeling sorry for myself.  No way to spend your life.  


I very slowly started to understand that God had a different purpose for me and something that would give my life meaning and a sense of fulfillment.  I had been blessed with an amazing husband who I almost didn't know anymore and two beautiful daughters that never quite understood why mommy had to work so much.  There was a point during my unemployment that I had to realize that no job in the world could replace what I had missed out on the last 4 years of my life and no job would every be worth missing those things again.  I made a decision that no matter what type of job I took I wouldn't let it interfere with my family, I had already lost so much time with them that I couldn't afford to lose another moment or memory.  


I have been happily employed at my current job since June, I haven't had to miss a school program, a birthday party invitation, a date night with my husband, taking my kids to the movies, tucking them into bed, or church on Sunday morning with my family.  I guess I never really new how much I was missing and how many memories where being made without me until I got the chance to be there and be a part of what was important to them.  That feeling I get when I see my children smile because I'm part of the important things is the most rewarding feeling in the world.


I'm grateful for the mistakes I made because if I hadn't made those decisions I wouldn't understand what it feels like to be happy.  Sometimes you don't realize how unhappy you might be when you are in a situation but you sure feel grateful once it's over.  I also realize that it's never to late to start over and say goodbye to the things that bring you down, but most of all I realized it's never to late to let God show you your purpose.  Sometimes it takes feeling like you are a failure to realize there is something bigger out there for you.  My purpose isn't to be the bread winner or to be married to my work, it's to be the best mother and wife that I can and offer my children and husband all the support and encouragement they need.  So here's to a life altering 2010 and continuing to move forward 2011!